I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I ended up where I intended to be.
I used to believe in this wholeheartedly, with every fiber of my being. I could once say, that I knew every awful, every heartbreaking and luminous moment had led me to exactly where my feet were planted, at that very second, of every day. And now, now Im just not so sure as Ive been sitting and waiting for my boyfriend for over an hour, all done up in my red lipstick.
Life is funny and the longer I go, the more I see, the less I understand. This journey of mine has been everywhere and nowhere, I’ve been as far as you can on the emotional spectrum in either direction and lived this life according to other people. What other people want, what other people need and I have given myself wholeheartedly to many personal causes and now I think Im left out in the cold.
Once, my feet immediately, upon hitting my bedroom floor would have a kick to their step, turning on the radio and dancing about, unaware that waking up could be any different. Carefully planning my look, applying lipstick and mascara with such precision, a make-up artist could weep, ensuring everything went together, completely ready to face the world.

Now, now I am hardly ever ready to face the world. Bed and the shades drawn please.

I am completely aware of my depression.

Of my seclusion.
Of my delusion.

I am completely sure and totally unsure.

For now, I finish my wine.

health care

I support health care reform, but not this kind.

I do not support no abortion support, of any kind. This girl isn't a baby killer, but with it being the most common surgical procedure in the country and completely legal, there should be.

This no conscience clause? What? A girl that has just been raped could not receive the proper medical attention and emergence birth control? Who are these people that want babies out of rape? So God made rape ok, for procreation? No, That is not my god or my country.

Raising medicare costs, on the elderly with 72 million baby boomers about to be eligible? Oh, of course just to make money.

And women's health coverage. I can so no more.


There are good things, all employers must provide coverage, children will be covered.

And I would also like to say to the hatters, this isnt all Obama's fault. I have seen/heard so many people who believe he is responsible for everything that is going on in this country, and it is simply not true. Including the bill, this is not ideal. This is a bill written up by congress and the house, the corruption lies within capital hill. The lies are there. Those are the people who have led us astray, including all of us. We are all responsible for this mess, for the divide and for the future.

It shouldn't be based on morals because there is a difference from person to person. Its not about being right or good or wrong or bad. Its about just being a human.


Save the rain forest, save the reefs, save the bees, save the trees, save me.



I think I may turn this into something a little more.